Time...
Never seems to be enough, or it is flying by far too quickly.
I started a new job this week - yes I change jobs often. I can now because I have Medicare and Social Security coming in. I need to work to keep insurance for my wife.
This week I went back to my beginnings, so to speak. One of my first jobs as a teen, was working at St. John's Cemetery in the small rural Iowa community where I grew up. The majority of the job was mowing - day after endless day in the hot summer sun. We would no sooner get to the far west end of the cemetery and it was time to start over on the front. We squeezed in hand trimming of head-stones and other such projects on rainy days. And, to break the monotony, there was the occasional grave-site to prepare.
This week, I started a position as one of the team of grounds keepers for Sentry Insurance, headquartered here in Stevens point.
I am now, after one week of raking in grass seed, hauling rocks, planting and seeding grass and vacuuming leaves, fully aware that my body is far less capable of such projects than when I wore the skin of a 15-year-old in Iowa.
However, I was outside. I was working surrounded by trees and wildlife and not the general public I dealt with at Lowe's. It gave me time to rest my mind and enjoy the simply exquisite beauty of Nature. A fair trade for my now aching back, knees and shoulder.
My struggle with depression has become rather intense of late. Stresses in life, realization that I am in fact, far too damn old to die too damn young, and tight finances - mostly still the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey and the ensuing 4 months of unemployment, salvaging process in Rockport and loss of most of our furniture, my Jeep and a portion of my soul I don't believe will ever be replaced.
I don't mean to sound melodramatic, it's not my intent. I still have nightmares from the time spent in Rockport after the storm. I am still haunted by the destruction and loss of so much to so many. We had invested tens of thousands of dollars into remodeling the house we lived in, bringing it up to Hurricane Code to purchase for retirement. We got none of it back. We were merely renting. The owner got the insurance money and only patched the walls and ceilings where they fell in, leaving the walls and ceiling full of wet insulation, rusting electrical and a future mold factory.
I am struggling to focus on writing. I have the story, the characters, the beginning and the end, but time seems impossible to come by. I am physically drained after 8 hours outside working manual labor at the young age of 65. I haven't even touched a book to read or wrtie in almost two weeks.
I hope to change it this weekend. That is, of course, after I mow, trim and take care of my own yard.
FYI: It was 35 degrees yesterday morning, and a less than balmy 31 this morning. Light frost in May... It shouldn't be that much of a shock since we had snow the first week.
Enjoy your weekend and I will endeavor to keep Lazarus on his journey.
R. M. U.
Never seems to be enough, or it is flying by far too quickly.
I started a new job this week - yes I change jobs often. I can now because I have Medicare and Social Security coming in. I need to work to keep insurance for my wife.
This week I went back to my beginnings, so to speak. One of my first jobs as a teen, was working at St. John's Cemetery in the small rural Iowa community where I grew up. The majority of the job was mowing - day after endless day in the hot summer sun. We would no sooner get to the far west end of the cemetery and it was time to start over on the front. We squeezed in hand trimming of head-stones and other such projects on rainy days. And, to break the monotony, there was the occasional grave-site to prepare.
This week, I started a position as one of the team of grounds keepers for Sentry Insurance, headquartered here in Stevens point.
I am now, after one week of raking in grass seed, hauling rocks, planting and seeding grass and vacuuming leaves, fully aware that my body is far less capable of such projects than when I wore the skin of a 15-year-old in Iowa.
However, I was outside. I was working surrounded by trees and wildlife and not the general public I dealt with at Lowe's. It gave me time to rest my mind and enjoy the simply exquisite beauty of Nature. A fair trade for my now aching back, knees and shoulder.
My struggle with depression has become rather intense of late. Stresses in life, realization that I am in fact, far too damn old to die too damn young, and tight finances - mostly still the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey and the ensuing 4 months of unemployment, salvaging process in Rockport and loss of most of our furniture, my Jeep and a portion of my soul I don't believe will ever be replaced.
I don't mean to sound melodramatic, it's not my intent. I still have nightmares from the time spent in Rockport after the storm. I am still haunted by the destruction and loss of so much to so many. We had invested tens of thousands of dollars into remodeling the house we lived in, bringing it up to Hurricane Code to purchase for retirement. We got none of it back. We were merely renting. The owner got the insurance money and only patched the walls and ceilings where they fell in, leaving the walls and ceiling full of wet insulation, rusting electrical and a future mold factory.
I am struggling to focus on writing. I have the story, the characters, the beginning and the end, but time seems impossible to come by. I am physically drained after 8 hours outside working manual labor at the young age of 65. I haven't even touched a book to read or wrtie in almost two weeks.
I hope to change it this weekend. That is, of course, after I mow, trim and take care of my own yard.
FYI: It was 35 degrees yesterday morning, and a less than balmy 31 this morning. Light frost in May... It shouldn't be that much of a shock since we had snow the first week.
Enjoy your weekend and I will endeavor to keep Lazarus on his journey.
R. M. U.
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Robert Ullrich